Parenting from the Heart: Preserving the Joy of Creativity

Allow children's imaginations to run free by letting them draw without judgment.

“I want you to draw it for me,” children often insist. They protest, “I can’t draw a car,” a cat, a picture of Ariel the mermaid, or a Batman.

Drawing with a child is a lovely way to connect. However, encouraging your child to try drawing for herself, you can witness a transformative process. Imagine what it feels like for a toddler discovering a circle in her scribbling and imagining a face if she put dots for eyes. That is the way drawing a human usually begins in cultures around the world. The reasons teachers don’t usually succumb to this demand to draw for children is that they know they would be hindering the child’s experimentation process. In a preschool classroom, we find that when an adult draws for children, children’s efforts to draw at least temporarily shut down. They become anxious that they can’t draw well enough.

Did you stop enjoying art at a particular age? Do you say now that you’re not good at art? If that’s the case, what happened to cause those feelings? Children’s vision of what they would like to create often exceeds their skill. However, experimentation with art is what brings all its benefits. In his 2007 commencement speech at Stanford University, Dana Giola, who is a poet and chairperson of the National Endowment of the Arts, said, “There are some truths about life that can only be expressed as stories, or songs, or images. Art delights, instructs, and consoles us. It teaches us about emotion.” In some forms of academic learning, children are concerned with getting the right mathematical answer, spelling the word correctly, or creating a grammatically correct sentence. We may prefer one kind of art representation to another, but the process of art “consoles us” by not having rights or wrongs.

Children who are upset often feel relieved to use the non-verbal process of art to communicate. Teachers often ask children who are upset to draw or paint a picture that shows the way they feel—an activity that expresses their emotions without the more linear thinking of words. Families can also work on art projects together and talk about the feelings they want their art to communicate.

It’s also helpful to ask questions about art, not in terms of “What is that?” but “Could you tell me about your drawing or painting?” You will be surprised at the stories children tell about their art work. I still have a copy of a drawing a preschooler made of a human being. He pointed to another tiny form inside the stomach area of the drawing and said, “That’s the scientist inside me.” Talking about art gives us clues to a child’s inner life.

Much has been said about the development of creativity. The new issue of Psychology Today explores this subject from various perspectives. Observing children’s art in process and commenting on the choices they make—“I see you chose green” or “I’m looking at how you drew a squiggly line”—empowers them to do more. Having basic art supplies consistently available allows the child to learn to make progress with a particular art medium. The question of creativity isn’t how to make children creative. The issue is how to preserve the joy of creativity that can be experienced in so many areas of life that don’t involve giving a right answer or competing with someone else.

Our interest in children’s experimentation makes them appreciate their own creations more. Instead of saying a painting is beautiful, we can try to emphasize their feelings. “How do you like it?” We don’t want to talk children out of their feelings of not liking a drawing or thinking it’s not good enough. Supporting children usually has to involve encouraging more experimentation until they recognize a shape or a painting that leaves them feeling satisfied. They can even choose the artwork they want us to display. Recently a four-year-old got angry because her teacher wouldn’t draw the mermaid Ariel. Finally the girl drew a large shape with eyes and a wonderful, curving tail on an oversized piece of paper and said it was Ariel. Next to the mermaid she drew a fish, revealing that the process of drawing had pulled her imagination into an undersea world.

My artists friends remind me that we can’t make a rule about not drawing for children. How about funny drawings to cheer a child up? What about drawing a simple picture of a child cleaning up his room or being quiet at particular times? Drawings can break down a child’s resistance. Then there’s the joy of doing art work together. We can rediscover the pleasure and calming effects of enjoying art with our children. What could be more relaxing?

Susan Isaacs Kohl, is director of the White Pony preschool in Lafayette. She is the author of The Best Things Parents Do (Conari, 2004) and four other books and numerous articles for parents.

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