Pleasanton Punch Lines

Courtesy of CBS Television

TV's top comedians have been gravitating to the Bay Area lately. First, NBC’s Conan O’Brien filmed a week of Late Night shows in San Francisco in May. Then CBS’s Late, Late Show host, Craig Ferguson, devoted an entire monologue to downtown Pleasanton after a visit in late June. Here are some highlights from Ferguson’s routine.
>“You can tell it’s a nice town from the name: Pleasanton. It sounds like a pleasant town. It’s a lot nicer than the next town over: Crapville. Which is nicer than the next town over: Fresno.”
>“I stayed at the Rose Hotel on Main Street. It’s beautiful. And it’s owned by the NFL broadcaster John Madden. You check in at the front desk, and they yell, ‘Here’s your key. Go up those stairs, spin to the left, punch it in the door, and boom! You’re in your room!’ “
>“The local pizza joint is called Gay Nineties Pizza. I had one slice, and I was ready to go antiquing.”
>“I saw this great big neon sign for an old café called Dean’s Diner. But it’s only open for breakfast and lunch and closes at 2:30 in the afternoon. Why do they need a big neon sign if it’s closed at night?”
>“I loved how there were no chain stores on Main Street, until I realized that there were no Starbucks. I called the Starbucks corporation to tell them, and they had installed two new stores on Main Street by the time I hung up the phone.”
Search “Craig Ferguson Pleasanton” on www.youtube.com to see the entire monologue.