We’ve made it to 2012—the year that Hollywood movies and the Aztec calendar predict the world will end. Here are seven signs of the apocalypse to watch for in the East Bay.
Illustration by Jason Ford
> Unexpected volcanic eruption of Mount Diablo unearths lair of 20-foot-tall tarantulas.
> Earthquake ratio increases from four per week to 400 per hour.
> World’s longest-burning lightbulb in Livermore firehouse replaced with compact fluorescent bulb.
> Alice Waters releases new line of frozen microwavable dinners.
> Oakland minister and Judgment Day forecaster Harold Camping presents reasonable, measured sermon about tolerance and the power of patience.
> Rick Perry/Michele Bachmann ticket receives endorsement from UC Berkeley’s Daily Californian.
> A 2.4-ounce Clif bar becomes more valuable than a 2.4-ounce gold bar.
Share your best end-of-the-world zingers at diablomag.com/2012.